Parent Of Playful Kids T-Shirts

Jack in the box on strike.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

'She's just great with the children.'

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

"Werewolves of London..."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'The kids were so sweet...'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'Where do I put the batteries?'

"I have a new program that draws from his energy to power all our computers and phones. We should be good for the next 10 years."

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

Jeff's Smorgasbord

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

Circus Act

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

"See what happens when you go swimming after eating!"