Paranoid Protector T-Shirts

'With all the cars being stolen these days, I went out and bought the strongest security system I could afford.'

'Oh, stop fretting! No hacker wants to tap into your PC!'

"I don't know what's more unnerving... God watching us 24-7, or our parents watching us on Google Earth!"

"Look, it's just a cold. . . ok?. . . It is not, I repeat, not! The Coronavirus."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

Trump leaving

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

Privacy Conference Security

"I think we have run out of time..."

"Would it kill you to compost?"

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

What the heck is wrong with people? These leftovers are perfectly good – and #5 plastics go in the recycling bin!

Privacy - Surveillance

'More government surveillance!'

Coronavirus

Trust

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

"These latest surveys are very reassuring."

Look! There's a photo of our eco club's Earth Day actions in the newspaper! Sports. Power up the green machine!! I could use more copies. Me too. They're going to really power up my college applications.

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

"Mr. Miranda....we are using 'schedule 7' to hold you on suspicion of knowing someone who knew someone who was a whistleblower...."

Frontline health workers

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

"I came to save you, but everything I can think to do seems like it wouldn't actually make that much of a difference."

Statue of Security

Leaf Thinks: 'At times like this I'm happy to have a green job.'

Big Brother watching you watch Big Brother

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

"Good afternoon, Ted. I'm your online presence."

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'