Paranoid Pal T-Shirts

Trust

'Don't open that attachment!'

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

No Immediate Danger

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

Why would birdie need newspaper?

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

"Please don't kill me."

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Conspiracy Cat

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

'Se Non E Vero' Etc.

They say animals have the sixth sense and the talent to look into the future...

"The penicillin looks good."

Data Extraction Social Media Theme Park

Hypochodriac worrying about his heart.

'So, your anger management class is working?'

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

"Do you think we should get a pet?"

"You never call, and the federal government will back me up on that."

"I'll get the onion soup... it's the only thing on the menu that I don't know why it's bad for me!"

"Welcome to the neighbourhood. I hope you like savory pies."

'Thankfully he doesn't talk!'

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

Pirate trying on parrots.

How melanoma researchers take family summer vacations.

Jolly Roger Inn Toilets - has small parrot urinal on the wall.

'But dear, that's one of the characteristics of parrots...always demanding attention.'

'I don't know what it is...I just have this funny feeling like I'm being followed.'

How to tell you might be getting too close with your pet.

'With all the cars being stolen these days, I went out and bought the strongest security system I could afford.'

Listen to a lot of phone pitches while I'm at work?