Paranoid Pal Gifts

Trust

'Don't open that attachment!'

'For cryin' out loud. All I said was I thought I heard a noise outside last night!'

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

No Immediate Danger

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

Why would birdie need newspaper?

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

"Please don't kill me."

"He says he's not running away. . . he's just going off the grid."

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Conspiracy Cat

Data Extraction Social Media Theme Park

'Se Non E Vero' Etc.

They say animals have the sixth sense and the talent to look into the future...

"The penicillin looks good."

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

Hypochodriac worrying about his heart.

'So, your anger management class is working?'

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

"They're out to get me... I keep getting phone calls that say 'spam risk'."

"You never call, and the federal government will back me up on that."

"Do you think we should get a pet?"

'Thankfully he doesn't talk!'

"I'll get the onion soup... it's the only thing on the menu that I don't know why it's bad for me!"

"Welcome to the neighbourhood. I hope you like savory pies."

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

Pirate trying on parrots.

How melanoma researchers take family summer vacations.

'I don't know what it is...I just have this funny feeling like I'm being followed.'

'But dear, that's one of the characteristics of parrots...always demanding attention.'

Jolly Roger Inn Toilets - has small parrot urinal on the wall.

How to tell you might be getting too close with your pet.