Paranoid Organizer T-Shirts

"I bought a new canopener, but let's save the old one in case we ever have a need for a broken canopener."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

No Immediate Danger

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"By labeling it, I control it."

I was thinking about the implications of your brave effort last week to unionize. I didn't really. I was role-playing. Whatever. Do you realize the demise of unions has coincided with a massive decline in the middle class? What? I'm helping chickens cross a road on my iPhone. I'm taking about the income gap! Talkin' 'Bout the Income Gap is sponsored by: The makers of signs, placards, and other protest equipment.

"We need a union!'

"He says he's not running away. . . he's just going off the grid."

Annual Mensa Convention: 'Ok, who's the genius who forgot to send out the invitations?'

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

Conspiracy Cat

Lateral Thinking - Not Out & Not In trays.

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

"The penicillin looks good."

"I'm afriad we had to cancel the 'perfect planning ' seminar. We forgot to book the hotel until it was to late and the speaker we hoped to use died in 1958."

Hypochodriac worrying about his heart.

Union organizer in a hostile workplace. . .

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

'Boss, there's union guys out there organizing the robots.'

"You never call, and the federal government will back me up on that."

A catch-all is born.

"Well...this meeting is about...ummhh...structure and...ummhhh...preparation. Well...ummhh...at least I think so..."

The struggle for a decent payment.

Yard Sale. It could be we're pillaging too much.

'Hmmm, the 27th you say... Yes, I'm away that day, so I guess it's OK for you to play...'

Mysterious installation of Mr. Pinch

"I'll pencil you in for recess."

"Welcome to the neighbourhood. I hope you like savory pies."

"Can you even imagine where women would be without the trade union movement...."

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

'Mom, don't worry about the floor. I took my shoes off!'

Student rakes leaveslaundry in dorm room.