Paranoid Plush Protectors T-Shirts

Warning Coronavirus

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

A Hole in the Dike

No Soliciting

"Don't even think about it."

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

"And with you on guard, I won't have to worry about that monster under my bed."

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

Trust

The IRS emptied my pouch.

Polar Bear at the Ice Machine

Toys

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"That's just not the real me."

"We're looking for a 5000 step walk."

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

"Someday, my son, that will mean you."

Hope...

'I'm a guard dog too.'

'It's not fair! I wanna save the Earth from asteroids and aliens! All daddy wants to do is sell 1,000 shares of stock!'

'Have you seen little Spotty?'

It's for you.

"Is your dog friendly?!"

Save me versus Feed me.

"Hello? I`d like to report a missing person..."

Climate change hits Antarctica

"We're pretty sure it was the dissolving stitches."

Polar Bear arrives at house

"Jd Vance wants to visit"

"Makes you feel kind of proud, doesn't it?"

"Can i get a transfer from the porcupine enclosure..?

Sick polar bear humour...

'It's true what they say - we're a nation of dog lovers!'

'It's great: My Masters are poor, so I don't have anything to guard and they never leave me to go on holidays...'

'Aha...Hmmmm...tsk, tsk, tsk!'