Paranoia Pun Appreciator Gifts

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Seagiraffes

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

First Novels.

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

Cat Nip.

You're the puff in my pastry!

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

'We have a beautiful relationship. Why spoil it with a hug?'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

Banana Split...

Punt Cake

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

Can I give you a slice of the action?

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Cheeze Wiz.

'What the..? She IS a stick!'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."