Paragliding Jokester Gifts

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Cow Blue Arrows

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

"I hate this time of year."

Trapped on the Pole Vault.

"How's my tripping you up?"

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

Doctor about spinning plates on patient: 'I'm concerned about his platelets.'

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

Cleaning the Horse

Seances of the future

Airline: Arrivals, Departures, Missing Luggage and Missing Planes.

'OK, who stuck that wedding confetti star on it?'

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

Black Hole Corks

Man skated through airport with rollers on pull bag.

Riding instructor waits to fish a child out of jumping obstacle.

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

"It's me. I was going through a 'Bon Jovi Phase.'"

"Houston....I've found the 'Plank Constant'."

"There it is again, that tapping..."

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

"Can you take over the controls? I've got to take a number 4!"