Paperless Promoter Gifts

"We're going paperless, so we'll have to find you another office."

Create some buzz!

What the heck is wrong with people? These leftovers are perfectly good – and #5 plastics go in the recycling bin!

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

'How do I get people to visit my...'

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"He's got a great future behind him!"

"With your voice and my marketing skills, we'll sell records by the million!"

Garage Music

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

'Help me Rhonda I've fallen & I can't get back up.'

Concert still in progress

"Sure I'd love to buy thirty thousand subscriptions."

'See you later - Remember to drink plenty of liquids.'

"I'm going to a concert by a really famous superstar....he deserves to be pelted with expensive organic tomatoes!"

'Old blue-screen's back!'

Muse

An honesty of agents

'Oh I retired a few months back...I'm a promoter now.'

'Hey, thanks for comin' out tonight. All these songs are from our new album, which was inspired by a recent trip to the grocery store...'

'Usherettes and razzamatazz won't bring back the crowds - we need some new lions'.

In the interest of the environment, no plastic bags issued with purchases.

"So much for that publicity stunt."

Hmmm

'Lost your kindle in the cab? Try my outdated destined-for-extinction, low-priced print edition.'

"People...People who need people...."

The Cost of Photocopying

Oli was a walking advertisement for thickening & revitalizing shampoos & conditioners.

"Thank you and goodnight! You've been a great audience."

Trucker advertises his podcast.

"You gotta admit, they rock PRETTY hard for a group with no arms."

"And now, our newest hit song..."

"As part of the new environmental policy management want us to introduce a paperless office, and this is how they want us to do it."

"Well done, another winner, Haskins."

"I hear good things about you from your publicist."