Paparazzi Chaser Pillows

'No comment!'

'Hello...is that the press complaints commission?'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

"The goal is to hate yourself."

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

Dog phrenology

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

Selfie World

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

'Get me public relations!'

'He's an attorney. He came with the software package, to verify software licensing compliance.'

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

"My dog chased a squirrel up my pantleg!"

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

Hollywood or bust!

A day in the life of a dog.

The Daily Fury

"No squirrel, but I found Jimmy Hoffa."

The Pooperrazzi

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

As Seen On TV