Paparazzi Chaser Gifts

'No comment!'

'Hello...is that the press complaints commission?'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"The goal is to hate yourself."

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

Dog phrenology

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

Selfie World

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

'Get me public relations!'

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

'He's an attorney. He came with the software package, to verify software licensing compliance.'

Hollywood or bust!

"My dog chased a squirrel up my pantleg!"

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

"That's why I don't use those dog carriers."

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

A day in the life of a dog.

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

The Pooperrazzi

'Actually,no. It isn't okay to have a little chat and sign a few autographs!'

'Something that'll get me googled,'