Tabloid Chaser Gifts

Sheen-clown party!

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

'How fast can you hype?'

JET (Part I)

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

'Get me public relations!'

'Oooh. By Emily Bronte. A very controversial book...Cruelty! Passion! Death! Risky territory for a woman author in the 1800s.'

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

Weditorials

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

'I want to sue my veterinarian. He didn't keep doctorpatient confidentiality and blabbed about my sex change operation to the tabloids.'

The Daily Fury

'Actually,no. It isn't okay to have a little chat and sign a few autographs!'

"We made mistakes & have evidently lost the trust of the public. Therefore I feel I must tender my resignation..."

'Inflated gloom!'

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

The National Conversation Starts Here

"Five minutes, General."

'Normally I don't like a newspaper because of its pictures.'

'Oh great, now, not only am I cursed, but my photo is on the front page of the tabloids...'

Newscorp hacks into itself.

"Hey! This was rubber stamped!"