Publication Chaser Gifts

"My research paper wasn't accepted by any of the juried publications, but it's regarded throughout the academic community as highly downloadable."

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

Breakthrough

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

"I'm ready for summer vacation! A good book takes you where you've never been!"

"Remember when everyone told you this job would lead you nowhere? Well, you've arrived!"

'What is it Spot? What are you trying to tell me?'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

'Oooh. By Emily Bronte. A very controversial book...Cruelty! Passion! Death! Risky territory for a woman author in the 1800s.'

Mr Jefferson Brick Proposes a Toast at the 'Rowdy Journal' Offices

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

Corporate Success

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

Bookworm Romance

"He's chasing the White Whale, as usual."

Potter is going to go far, unless I manage to stop him.

'Brilliant job, Rafferty. Advance two cubicles!'

The National Conversation Starts Here

"Contested elections are ALWAYS problematic...but I'd like reassure you that even though the partners chose me on this occasion."

"Your family called. When you get caught up, they'd like you to send them a proof of life."

Bestsellers have sold so well there are none at all on the shelves.

'I'm not interested in what the paper is about, Dr Jones, I just want you to put me on the authors' list...'

Fluctating Graph.

Economics journalist

Higgs Boson particles at a training session: "Geneva is a no-fly zone."

'It's quite an inspiring story. He started out in the mailroom and within two years had clawed his way to the very top!'

' I'm sick of having to use this pigsty!..What does a guy have to do,to gain access to the executive wash-room in this company?! '

Marvin P. Tisdale is plucked from obscurity and returned there in record time.

Cosmic Ray