Literary Chaser Gifts

Bestsellers have sold so well there are none at all on the shelves.

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Meet The Author"

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

The Bookworm

Reading my Critics

The Dorrie Decimal System

Blue Stockings

'He likes to power nap.'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

John Bunyan

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Don Quixote

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"Oh, this old thing?"

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

Sue the Author 3PM

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

A Footnote - Self Portrait of Beardsley, Bound to the God of Nature

It was the best of times, it was the wasrtn blanfil trmsl... It was the bnarfy foodel pook. Arghh! Darn reader's block.

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

"Barb's such a fast reader."