Literary Chaser T-Shirts

Bestsellers have sold so well there are none at all on the shelves.

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Meet The Author"

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

The Bookworm

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

Reading my Critics

The Dorrie Decimal System

'He likes to power nap.'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

Blue Stockings

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

John Bunyan

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Don Quixote

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

"Oh, this old thing?"

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

Sue the Author 3PM

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

"Barb's such a fast reader."

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

Moby Dick

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

It was the best of times, it was the wasrtn blanfil trmsl... It was the bnarfy foodel pook. Arghh! Darn reader's block.