Publicity Chaser Pillows

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

Clown Skis.

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

"Remember when everyone told you this job would lead you nowhere? Well, you've arrived!"

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

No caption

'The sty is falling!!'

'What is it Spot? What are you trying to tell me?'

'Get me public relations!'

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

'Oooh. By Emily Bronte. A very controversial book...Cruelty! Passion! Death! Risky territory for a woman author in the 1800s.'

Hollywood or bust!

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

Corporate Success

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."