Promotion Chaser Pillows

Congratulations on your promotion, Bob, but I should tell you that no one has lasted over a month at the Department of What Could Possibly Go Wrong.

'Brilliant job, Rafferty. Advance two cubicles!'

"It's not the fast track I had in mind."

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

"The value of careers may go down as well as up."

'Face it, you're a workaholic. If I gave you a raise, I'd only be enabling you.'

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

Guess who's been made project manager.

' I'm sick of having to use this pigsty!..What does a guy have to do,to gain access to the executive wash-room in this company?! '

Potter is going to go far, unless I manage to stop him.

'It's quite an inspiring story. He started out in the mailroom and within two years had clawed his way to the very top!'

Marvin P. Tisdale is plucked from obscurity and returned there in record time.

'That's right! My very own corner office! Next year I might get glass!'

"Contested elections are ALWAYS problematic...but I'd like reassure you that even though the partners chose me on this occasion."

"Remember when everyone told you this job would lead you nowhere? Well, you've arrived!"

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

Career opportunities

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

Upward Progress

'You're going to have to work your way up to the ground floor like everyone else.'

"Pardon me, but why is there no ceiling this office?"

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

Breakthrough

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'