Paparazzi Enthusiast Pillows

THE PIED PAPARAZZI - "Ugh! Stop following me!"

Spot the celebrity tourist - $2 minute.

"You'd have thought they'd have all slept with each other by now."

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

Selfie World

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

Leo McKern

"I don't need your resume. Your current employer forwarded me a ton of security video that you're featured in."

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

Meryl Streep

Viggo Mortensen

'I can't shake off this feeling we're being watched.'

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

Spy Satellite

"It's our latest celebrity scent, it's called Elon Musk. It smells like money!"

Emma Watson

Sheepdog Security

"Alright be cool. We're just gonna ask for an autograph and be on our way."

As Seen On TV

"I've decided to redefine as a GREAT artist."

"It's not for you, it's for the paparazzi."

The Pooperrazzi

Super-ego Surveillance

Daniel Day Lewis

"It's finally happened - Tom Hanks was in every movie this year."

"I just installed a home security monitor."

"I'd like you to join my professional network on LinkedIn."