Paparazzi Aficionado Pillows

"I labeled the envelop, 'naked pictures.' They should be leaked in no time."

"He's a guard dog."

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

Hollywood Breakup

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

Selfie World

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

"I will answer anything but questions."

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

The Pooperrazzi

"It's not for you, it's for the paparazzi."

"It's finally happened - Tom Hanks was in every movie this year."

Newspaper

"I know what you're thinking: 'Did he write six refills or only five?'" Dirty Harry, M.D.

Leisure Editor

Portrait artist drawing DNA patterns.

Welcome to celebrity hell.

'She'll be back!!!'

"I just installed a home security monitor."

"This is just between you and me and the lamppost." "I'll sell it to the tabloids."

Media press pack outside stable where Jesus is born