Panic Humor Fan Pillows

'Oh my God!! My hair's falling out!!'

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"Let's hear some of that scout master wisdom now, sir!"

The creature from the trailer by the dried-up lagoon.

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"What we didn't have but obviously needed was an alarmist."

Winter Weather.

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

'Well, well - this should create a nice little wave of panic and hysteria.'

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

"That's what I love about social media. I can have connections with thousands of people and yet still be completely isolated and alone."

The End is Nigh

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

Mary Margaret, the best bar nun.

Looky... It's Bat'minton... I'll see myself out."

"You didn't seriously think that one does one's own huffing and puffing these days, did you?"

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

'Elroy had an unfortunate knack for picking fights with the wrong people'

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

"Has he had all his shots"

'If you want produce grown on the farm down the road you'll have to go to Kuala Lumpur.'

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

'This photo is hardly suitable for your misery memoir.'

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

"I've decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, because it's just collecting dust."

Excess Baggage: If your vacation plans include 'getting back to nature', but careful what you wish for.