Paranormal Comedy Fan Pillows

'Really? A Bride of Satan? Golly, Lucille, why did you wait until our fourth date to tell me you were already married?'

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"Why do they do that?"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Giraffe Umbrella

Bad fake tan day.

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

A Fairytale Update

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

Vlad the Impala

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

"Out damn Spot

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"That is an outrageous slur."