Paranormal Fans Pillows

"Give me a minute, this is my first time haunting a walk-up."

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

"Is it too much to ask for you to just act paranormal for once?"

"Tan O'Clock Salon. Your key to maintaining a healthy afterglow in the afterlife."

"I find it disturbing when you breathe through your nose."

Yeah, there are spiders in here, but … wait, are you going around?

"You'll have to excuse Edith. She's currently possessed by the spirit of Pachacuti."

'Sue, the poltergeist has made us another cake.'

"Are you serious? C'mon...you're pulling my chain."

Telekinetics on strike...

'Boooooo...bies!': Redneck Ghosts.

Teenager ghost tantrums - "I hate you! I wish I was alive!"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Transylvanian backpackers.

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

Toadstools

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Paranormal A-Z...

Silence of the Chickens...

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

New Road Signs to Watch For:

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

The devil you know and his plus one

Astral Projection

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

Frankenstein's Monster's PC.

He snuck in on me again, didn't he.

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

"I said to get a Tomcat, not a wombat!"