Paranormal Enthusiast Pillows

'It doesn't matter that your thesis is on extra sensory perception, you can't cite mindreading in your references.'

"Nessie's been abducted by aliens."

"Junior. Drink your blood before it clots"

"Spirit! Are you a chatbot?"

Woman Begins To Sweep Away Her Shadow

A ghost is at remedial school - 'OOB!'

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

"Oh there, you are - I just spent three hours talking to a sheet draped over a chair."

"Restless spirit, we don't know who or what you are, but thank you for your amazing Wi-Fi, and for keeping the signal strong."

Doctor Spook.

Mind reading institute - 'You can say that again!'

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"What grade would you like - basic, better or best?"

"See? There's no monster in the corner—it's just a pile of old skulls."

"Get a tomb!"

"Nope, no monsters under here."

"I can't deal with your fear and paranoia."

Tele-séance

"Yes, housekeeping? These bathrobes are out of control!"

"Pop, what part of ‘rest in peace’ don’t you understand?!"

"It's going to rain — I can feel it in my bones."

"Which one is yours?"

A ghost stares at a woman

"How, exactly, do we go back to your place?"

"Phew. No roaches, honey!"

Ghost Cat

"Your wife says she doesn't want to speak to you, she wants you to get out your phone and show her funny dog videos."

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

"Do you see the one who possessed your soul?"

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"

"I... see... darkness."

"Yes, Manhattan. Information? Could I please speak to the Ghostbusters?"

Waiting Room: Please think of a number. 'Seven?'

'Other than a flair for the Ouija board, what managerial qualities do you offer?'

The conspiracy behind conspiracy theories.