Painting Protector Gifts

"This one I feel like protecting, the others I don't."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

Trump leaving

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

'No JAMIE,you're NOT keeping any strays! Now GET rid of him and go wash up for dinner!...' / 'Sorry kiddo,i tried...'

"Would it kill you to compost?"

"These latest surveys are very reassuring."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

"I came to save you, but everything I can think to do seems like it wouldn't actually make that much of a difference."

Leaf Thinks: 'At times like this I'm happy to have a green job.'

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

'I see the rain forest has been downgraded to the 'scattered showers' forest.'

"Honey! He's breached the recliner! I repeat, the puppy has breached my La-Z-Boy!!"

Save the termites.

'Don't you think your Jim has taken getting his favourite sun lounger as far as it can go?'

"Don't think of it as hell. . . just think of it as a normally recurring seasonal weather pattern."

Do something for the environment.

"Okay...so I could have been wrong about a few facts..."

"See a trend?"

"Trust me, with me in charge, your kid will behave and be safe..."

'But I thought this pond was bottomless.'

"What's the difference between the butterscotch champagne mist and the tawny sunset beige? Probably something buried deep in your psyche."

"Have you tried turning it off and on?"

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

'Before you buy the gun can I ask if you thought about taking your cat to the vets first?'

'I think this is where our fish pond was.'

'Be careful, I hear he kills cats.'

"Ralphie, no! Not on my Kindle!"

"And, for God's sake, don't let anyone finish my novel!"

'Apparently it was quite a nice country before the mining industry took hold.'