Paintbrush Philosopher Gifts

The Bored Impressionist

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"The raw material was all around me: That's how I got started as a sculptor..."

Monkey-artist

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

The Best Art Teacher in the World.

Who's torturing a crow? I'm practicing my play. It's art! Which opens your mind to life's important questions. Right. Like what is art? Or do we need little brothers?

Jackson Pollock makes a mistake: 'Guess I'll have to start over.'

The Battle of the Pictures.

Oak Tree Painted in 1642

"I've been an emerging artist for ten years now..."

"It's too academic."

Painter's muse

'I like it.'

"You have indeed purchased an original Rembrandt. A Ralph Rembrandt."

Cross section through the Art Virus.

The Thinker Thinks of Toilet Roll.

" 'Perceptual and kinetic art have an intertwined development that cannot be totally disentangled; nevertheless perceptual, optical, or "virtual" movement—which always exists in tension with factual immobility—is an experience of a different order.' "

'I think he's a minimalist.'

Artist Painting Modern Art.

Ezra Pound

'But I've hardly got any brushes!'

"I haven't seen their work before, I like their use of light!"

'I didn't get a grant.'

'It's another canvasser dear'

'No, we can never actually see the big cartoonist, but he's everywhere.'

"We were already in this room—I remember that hideous Renoir."

"Well it's a lovely piece passed down to you by your father. How did he acquire it?"

The Police Artist.

Paint-By-Letters.

God creates a square world.

'You're making my job much harder.'

'I know a lot about art.. that's why I don't collect it.'

An artists drinks alcohol while painting on a canvas.

ARchie Smith cartoonist