Pain Threshold Tester Gifts

"How may I hurt you?"

Boss, I need to go home, I have an awful toothache. I can't focus. I can't concentrate. It's like someone's stabbing me in the face with a Samurai sword. Oh, that's not that bad. Let me know when it feels more like a Ninja sword. I'm not sure there's a difference. Apparently you can focus just fine.

Tension filled the tent.

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"Your meal sounded nice."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

'Clem,the doctor told you to get away and relax.'

"Procurement and their stakeholder journey down the procurement pathway... Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

Avocado Timeline

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

"First you leave me in the waiting room for two hours before I can see you... then you tell me I've got to watch my blood pressure!"

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

'Oh no its going to be one of those days.'

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

"Coffee?! After 20 minutes of waiting, I'm FULLY awake without one."

One latte? That'll be $4.50. That apple fritter sounds good. I'll have that too. Ok. Anything else? No, that's it. Are you sure? Of course I'm sure. That's all. That'll be $9.00 even. Ooh, are those macaroons fresh? I'll have a macaroon too. One latte, one apple fritter and one macaroon, and that's it. Well what are you waiting for? I don't have all day.

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'OK... Technically you CAN touch your toes.'

Big Burgers.

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

'Sorry to keep you waiting, sir.'

The interminable!

'Ok, there's some duct tape. Are you happy now, Mr. Prima Donna?...'

"Go already! Stop letting them in! Just think of yourself!!"

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"

"It's gotta be a good place – we've been ignored for well over an hour now."