Pain Measurement Enthusiast Gifts

Rate your pain...

"It seemed like miles to me!"

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

"I can never go metric. 'Al's 30.48 Centimeter Hot Dogs' just doesn't sound right."

"I don't prescribe opioids, but feel free to grab a CBD-laced lollipop on your way out."

Slept on the plane and now in horrible pain?

"Of course, I would suggest a shot of novacaine."

"...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch..."

"I think he stood on a nettle."

"How may I hurt you?"

'But toothache is the worst!'

'I regret to report that there's no global warming threat after all -- we just got Fahrenheit and Celsius mixed up.'

'This is going to be a level three.'

'The Novocain seems to have kicked in,'

'Pain at the pump; is really painful....even when not at the pump!'

A man hugs a heart-shaped cactus

'Ooh, that's better!'

'Does it hurt when I do this...?'

'Yeeeooouchhhhh...' (Carpal Tunnel)

Dentist.

30.48 cm Hot Dogs

37.85 Litres Hats

Boss, I need to go home, I have an awful toothache. I can't focus. I can't concentrate. It's like someone's stabbing me in the face with a Samurai sword. Oh, that's not that bad. Let me know when it feels more like a Ninja sword. I'm not sure there's a difference. Apparently you can focus just fine.

'This is going to be a level three.'

'Same time next week then?'

'If I strike a nerve, just blink your left eye, there's a good chap.'

Roadside monitor displays rapid heart rate in heavy traffic.

'Back pain? The beef stew is just laced with analgesics.'

'Does it hurt when I do this?'

Laying on a bed of needles.

'My Dad always said Imperial was better by miles.'

'So what'll it be; novocain or profanity?'

'This won't hurt, honest.'

"Your blood pressure is two forty five...take your watch off!"

Foot Long Hot Dogs. Actual Mileage May Vary.