Pain-free Enthusiast Gifts

Dentist.

"Just be yourself."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Theatre Crowd

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

Once upon a time and a half. Buick and the Beast.

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

Nice park. . .

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

A man drives a car with the word "LAWYER" painted backwards on the front hood so that it can be read in the rear-view mirrors of other cars.

'Nice smile.'

Welcome to the wonderful world of abstract mime.

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

'It's ok, sir, we'll put you in touch with one of our grief counselors.'

Al, trust me� You're ready for tomorrow's comic strip. I really want to nail my performance, Axel. "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter�"

Trapeze Artists

'Things are going from bad to worse in the auto industry.'

QUICK OIL CHANGE & FLU SHOT

"Often, it's sullen and withdrawn, and then, suddenly, it becomes hostile and vengeful."

"I don't prescribe opioids, but feel free to grab a CBD-laced lollipop on your way out."

Car dealers free hotdogs - "The best I can do is mustard and relish, ketchup and onions are optional."

Slept on the plane and now in horrible pain?

Dept of Health and Safety founder was accident victim.

"You seem like just the kind of guy who would be right at home in one of these fjord explorers."

"I don't get it. Who doesn't love a circus?"

'Don't let any SUV's pass us.'

"Having a fine old name really has been enough for me."

Crossing the thin line into show business

'Any chance of making this a 'catch and release', officer?'