Pageantry Pillows

"I'm Miss Missouri, but my goal is to become Miss California."

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

'Shakespeare is my favorite author I've never read!'

'I know she's only four, but it helps her deal with the stress.'

If beauty pageant contestants were honest.

Uncle Tom

Miss Jumbo Queen Pageant.

'I'm looking for a good summer looks....I can't read yet.'

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Miss America IQ Pageant

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

Circus Pageant

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

Model's aspirations

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

Miss America IQ pageant.

'In our class's Christmas pageant, I'm playing the department store manager.'

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

7th annual weird fishes pageant

"Hi. My name is Tanya and, if elected, my agenda will be cheddar! Cheddar, cheddar, cheddar!!"

'We've decided to skip the swimsuit competition on account of how disgusting we all look.'

'I could wile away the hours / Conferrin' with the flowers / Consultin' with the rain...'

'Welcome to the Miss Universe Pageant! And for the 62nd year in a row, Miss Bermuda is mysterious missing!'

Beauty Contest

'As the new Miss Individual I shouldn't care what you think.'

"I do believe that story gets more 'n' more interesting every time I hear it, Mr. Van Winkle! Why, a natural born performer like yourself couldn't help but make a wonderful Father Christmas in this year's pageant!"

Sweet bird of youth annual pageant

Miss Universe Contest.

Dreams of being a beauty queen

"As the new Miss Individual I shouldn't care what you think."