Pageantry Enthusiasts Pillows

'I'm happy to announce that the international society of child-pageant parents will be relocating here next year.'

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'I'm looking for a good summer looks....I can't read yet.'

Hospital gown pageant.

'And do you, grand marshal Froomkin, promise to always love a parade?'

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

Circus Pageant

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

"She really lights up a room. Face it Patty, we don't hold a candle to her."

Model's aspirations

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

Westminster's fine, but this show is just sick. Puppies & Tiaras.

'In our class's Christmas pageant, I'm playing the department store manager.'

Miss America IQ pageant.

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

Beauty contest

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

Dear Diary, today I'm feeling beautiful...

“It’s the same everywhere: body over brains.”

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

Beauty Contest

7th annual weird fishes pageant

Doris always made a big impact in the swimwear section of the beauty contest

'Welcome to the Miss Universe Pageant! And for the 62nd year in a row, Miss Bermuda is mysterious missing!'

'I could wile away the hours / Conferrin' with the flowers / Consultin' with the rain...'

In this pageant contestants must knowingly provide incorrect responses to questions. Ah, "Miss Information"!

Blank Inside

Miss Jumbo Queen Pageant.

Uncle Tom

"Hi. My name is Tanya and, if elected, my agenda will be cheddar! Cheddar, cheddar, cheddar!!"