Package Handling Gifts

Fragile box.

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

Fragile stamper.

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

Access Denied!

'Next day to the coast! You must be nuts!'

'Special Delivery!'

"You go on without me; I'm just going to riffle through some papers. I so love to riffle."

'Just wait! Someday you'll be old and corrugated!'

Caution Fragile

"...you came up with a milk carton that nobody can open."

'Can you walk me through this 'snail mail' stuff?'

'I know how you love empty boxes.'

'You want to insure it? --Just exactly what are you implying, buster?'

"It seems like our drones are causing a fuss over New Jersey. Should we go back to using trucks for these Christmas deliveries?"

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

"I'm addicted to online shoppin. It's so bad that I have a hallway full of unopened parcels."

Discreet Shipping

Delivered Pretty Much To Your Door!

"And no matter how many times they got it redelivered they were never home to receive the package."

"That's the diet version. The packaging is so tough, you work up a sweat just opening it."

U. S. POST OFFICE, 'Well, that's enough postage, but just barely.'

New York City Rodeo

"It's not exactly shopping. Many companies have my profile, they send me stuff they know I'll like and they bill me for it."

"No, the sign doesn't refer to the puppy. Fang, is standing right behind you."

"I was at home all day yesterday so when do I want you to re-deliver? Yesterday!"

"Yes, I do all my shopping online. How did you know?"

'Relax, lady, I'm out of the baby business. Now I work for UPS.

'It did say on the parcel, 'please do not bend'!'

"It says, 'To deter Porch Pirates, we've thrown your package on your roof'."

Glop With Packaging