Oxymoron Enthusiast Pillows

'Always tell the truth, even if you do have to lie to do it.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Ideas Ahead of their Time

No caption. (On a pirate ship various flags fly, including flags with a skull and crossbones and other banners showing logos from various social media sites. On the boat deck below, a pirate is looking at his cell phone).

Optimist

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

"That's weird. The app says to look for a Nissan Sentra."

"Hot Pocket"

'Are we having fun yet?'

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

Orthopaedist

John Newman

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

A bill poster pasting up a wanted poster of himself.

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"Care for an oxymoron?"

'I don't like the looks of this - there's nothing wrong.'

'Goodness me, Graham! I didn't think you had musical bone in your body!'

Why dogs are not hired to do bone scans

Backdoor

Roman playing croquet under aqueducts.

I owe you an apology for not believing you have back pain.

"I don't like the looks of that Spot on your lung."

We are downsizing due to the merger of our hunting and gathering divisions.

“Face it, dear...you’re a chair. You’ll see a lot of ends, but very few beginnings.”

"My mind is still on vacation."

"It's a forgery, alright! And by the looks of it... a fairly recent one."

"Da, I know what opprobrium means."/ "That's great, son. Do you know anyone else who does?"

Hunter Gatherer of the Month.

"Trust me I'm a Doctor."