Oxymoron Aficionado Pillows

"Care for an oxymoron?"

In Case of Broken Glass. . . Break Glass.

"No son, American English isn't redundant; it's an oxymoron."

Punctuation Police

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Ideas Ahead of their Time

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

Jack in the Box

Two love poems in swimming pool. Shallow end and deep end.

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

Odd Spas

Future Candidates For "Colorization"

Roman playing croquet under aqueducts.

“Face it, dear...you’re a chair. You’ll see a lot of ends, but very few beginnings.”

We are downsizing due to the merger of our hunting and gathering divisions.

Lumberjack's Dog

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

"Make it look like nine accidents.'

'My startup could really use a pioneer type like you.'

'Yeah, so our parents used to run together... what of it?'

Apostrophe, Aopstropher, Apostrothem.

Poet

Misread medical policy.

'Always tell the truth, even if you do have to lie to do it.'

"They've deployed their new missile defense system."

'...but what else am I supposed to do between 9 and 5 on a weekday?'

Magna Carta Shock - Incorrect Royal Seal

Downtown Express Turned Stagecoach As Two Cowboys Ride On The Front

A'sk me about my problem with apo'strophe's.

"I'm going to knock you on your Axe!!"

You've been getting too much sun, Icarus.

"I want a second opinion."

David takes down Goliath using a nano-satellite.

'If the global economy goes bust, there's a middle east war, and ocean levels rise. . .our 'Armageddon fund' will do just fine.'