Axiom Aficionado Pillows

Randy, do you think we're going to war with North Korea first or with Venezuela first? Neither one, little buddy. But … President Trump is threatening them both. Yes, but you're forgetting Randy's Axiom #467.1 … "Everything blows over when it's a small man making big threats, asterisk." "Asterisk"? Randy's axiom #467.2: "Those who want to sleep well never ask about the asterisk."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Driverless cars rage.

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"What did you download at school today?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

Bot Art: After da Vinci

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

"I'm afraid I'll be replaced by a robot at work."

"Your feelings may be artificial, but that doesn't mean they're not real."