Oddity Aficionado Pillows

"Of course, he's very low maintenance."

Odd Spas

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"Who's next?"

One way only.

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

"It's my helper trout!"

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

Disco Dancing

Storage Unit of Love

'You need some stress.'

Fish swimming in a pint of beer.

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

"Bad dog!"

"Has it occurred to you one of us might be a mirage?"

"Well, I finally saw a shrink today."

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"Phil, could I speak to you for a moment, not as your doctor but as your horse?"

'I knew it! Important Exclusion 347, 'Plummeting Pachyderms'. . .'

"How was I supposed to know she was allergic?"

"Am I the party of the first part or the party of the second part?"

"So this bacon in my ear - d'you think it can be cured..?"

'With this offer you get high speed internet, satellite TV and a new message tapping log for just $99.95 a month.'

Do bears take drug tests in the woods?

Unnatural History Museum

Man in bumper car sees traffic cop on bumper-car style motorcycle

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

Post Post

Ministry of Common Sense

'Hand over your wallet or I'll sue.'

"I'm investigating the theft of a breadcrumb by an ant matching your description."