Oddity Admirer Pillows

Skeleton doing laundry,

"Drinking home alone, I think he may have a problem."

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

Optimist

Zoo: No Hunting.

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

Presidential surveillance ass!"

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

Storage Unit of Love

"Is it OK if I turn the humidifier up a bit?"

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

Odd Spas

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.

'I was wondering if you could take this box of squirrels and make something cool with them, like a wolf?'

Department of Belly Buttons - Innies/Outies Tray

'Now just learn to whistle and I'll be rich!'

'Goodness me, Graham! I didn't think you had musical bone in your body!'

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel...let down your hair ball."

Too Weird to Have a Husband

Giant sandwich bags.

"It just don't feel right, drinking him like that."

Cakeless.

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

"Well, sometimes I'll just hang around and do nothing. Oh wait, that's all the time."

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

101 uses of a dead cat: rocking horse

'I'm sorry sir, you can't actually have your cake and eat it!'

Beached Whales