Oddity Admirers Pillows

"This is Fred's gallstone, and this is Muffy's hairball."

Stores of Mystery

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

Optimist

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

Zoo: No Hunting.

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

Presidential surveillance ass!"

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

Storage Unit of Love

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

"Is it OK if I turn the humidifier up a bit?"

Odd Spas

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"I get that you're cold, but does he also have to eat all our meals with us?"

'I was wondering if you could take this box of squirrels and make something cool with them, like a wolf?'

Department of Belly Buttons - Innies/Outies Tray

'I used to equate life and art -- then I married Art.'

'Goodness me, Graham! I didn't think you had musical bone in your body!'

'Now just learn to whistle and I'll be rich!'

101 uses of a dead cat: rocking horse

"....At least we don't have to put quarters in this hot tub."

Giant sandwich bags.

"It just don't feel right, drinking him like that."

Aliens watch movie featuring human invaders.

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"