Oddity Admirers Gifts

"This is Fred's gallstone, and this is Muffy's hairball."

Stores of Mystery

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

Penguins flying to igloo birdhouse

Optimist

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

Zoo: No Hunting.

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

Presidential surveillance ass!"

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

Robber on treadmill

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

Storage Unit of Love

"Is it OK if I turn the humidifier up a bit?"

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"I get that you're cold, but does he also have to eat all our meals with us?"

'I was wondering if you could take this box of squirrels and make something cool with them, like a wolf?'

Odd Spas

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

Department of Belly Buttons - Innies/Outies Tray

'I used to equate life and art -- then I married Art.'

"I wonder what odds you would have got for that happening?"

'Goodness me, Graham! I didn't think you had musical bone in your body!'

'Now just learn to whistle and I'll be rich!'

Al, you look nonplussed. I just heard that they discovered a new astrological sign, and my birthday now falls under the sign of the jackass.

"....At least we don't have to put quarters in this hot tub."

Giant sandwich bags.

101 uses of a dead cat: rocking horse

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel...let down your hair ball."

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"