Oddity Admirer Gifts

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the Antiques Roadshow

Skeleton doing laundry,

"Drinking home alone, I think he may have a problem."

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

Penguins flying to igloo birdhouse

Optimist

Zoo: No Hunting.

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

Robber on treadmill

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

Presidential surveillance ass!"

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

Storage Unit of Love

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

"Is it OK if I turn the humidifier up a bit?"

'I was wondering if you could take this box of squirrels and make something cool with them, like a wolf?'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.

Odd Spas

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

Department of Belly Buttons - Innies/Outies Tray

"I wonder what odds you would have got for that happening?"

'Now just learn to whistle and I'll be rich!'

'Goodness me, Graham! I didn't think you had musical bone in your body!'

Al, you look nonplussed. I just heard that they discovered a new astrological sign, and my birthday now falls under the sign of the jackass.

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel...let down your hair ball."

Cakeless.

"It just don't feel right, drinking him like that."

Atomic Bear: Part 10

Giant sandwich bags.

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

101 uses of a dead cat: rocking horse

Too Weird to Have a Husband

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.