Owl Aficionado Gifts

'Talk about ridiculous... we can spot a mouse a mile away, and still can't read a darn newspaper!'

All-Night Diner

If Billy Joel played a bell instead of a piano and wrote "a hoot owl state of mind" by mistake.

A drive-by hooting.

'Do you mind checking my screech for typos?'

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Did I see a flash of lightning just then?"

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

"Always remember - what happens in the pea-green boat stays in the pea-green boat."

"Portrait of a Lady"

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

The Female Brain and The Other One

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

'When I was a kid, we had to do our own instant replays.'

Cristiano Ronaldo

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

"See, dear, it's only an owl hooting...."

The Harper Plays Cricket.

'Don't be a wisenheimer.'

'I had to give a short speech last night. It was a hoot!'

Like most billionaires, Hugh Andrews the third prefers to bowl with crystal pins.

Bowling ball van driving into bowling pin factory.

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'