Owl Aficionado Gifts

'Talk about ridiculous... we can spot a mouse a mile away, and still can't read a darn newspaper!'

All-Night Diner

If Billy Joel played a bell instead of a piano and wrote "a hoot owl state of mind" by mistake.

You know it's my pet peeve when you say "anywhoo."

A drive-by hooting.

'Do you mind checking my screech for typos?'

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Did I see a flash of lightning just then?"

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

"Always remember - what happens in the pea-green boat stays in the pea-green boat."

"Portrait of a Lady"

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

Mohamed Salah

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

The Female Brain and The Other One

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

The Harper Plays Cricket.

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

'Don't be a wisenheimer.'

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

Cristiano Ronaldo

'When I was a kid, we had to do our own instant replays.'

"See, dear, it's only an owl hooting...."

'I had to give a short speech last night. It was a hoot!'

Like most billionaires, Hugh Andrews the third prefers to bowl with crystal pins.

Bowling ball van driving into bowling pin factory.