Overdraft Observer Pillows

"As you can see our policy on overdrafts has changed."

'What do you mean overdrawn...I still have twelve cheques left!'

"Ah, Mr. Small. . . come in and let's discuss your request for an overdraft."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

"It's a turkey vulture, and it's got something big. Honey, where's Delia?"

"Again, I must remind the witness that he is under oath!"

A dead business executive is lowered into the grave with his desk

"You didn't post anything on social media today. So, the church sent someone over to witness miracle."

Holiday Overkill.

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

'I like it!'

'How can you be so cheap?'

'Serves me right for frowning.'

"Good lord! Four of my dearest Facebook friends died last week!"

Foreclosed horse

'The doctors said you were so nervous about the operation they had to give you a tranquiliser.'

"It's not what you do, it's what people see that counts"

"Yee-ouch! That's gotta hurt."

Opposing viewpoint.

'You're wrong - this is brain surgery!'

'Is your holiday really necessary ?...Your company first!'

"I was called, I was chosen - I was sacked."

'Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob.'

Handicap Parking Only - Ticket Odds 4 to 1.

"Dr. Cosgrove will be here in a minute. He's been cramming for this operation."

Suicide by overeating.

"It's 6 o'clock. Do you know what's trending now?"