Offering Observer Pillows

'How can you be so cheap?'

'I do wish you would stop asking for change back when they pass the plate.'

John panics as he realizes being first to put money in the offering means people will know how much he gave.

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

Manufacturing will take place in China...So what role does Europe have?...you borrow money to be the customer

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

"Are we there yet?"

Olly really didn't know his arse from his elbow.

"You may enjoy swimming with the dolphins, Howard, but do they enjoy swimming with you?"

'You've got to help my son, Doctor — he's joined a cult that crawls up on beaches!'

"How do you feel about working a four-day week?"

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

Fish tank filled with sardines.

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

Evolution into a pair of sandals.

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

"Oh, for crying out loud, Lou... just go in the water!"

Thru The Eyes Of A Lifeguard.

"Leak to the press: Brussels bail-outs are French currency manipulation, costing British bureaucrats' jobs!"

'Nobody's leaving till I get the offering plate back!'

Fish Feeding Frenzy

Fisherman's catch getting it's revenge

"We used to be cooler."

'Now class...' says teacher looking at fish while the children are all staring at a mermaid in the next tank.

'Oooh! My cousin got a 5 star review! What's it say?'

"There goes that creepy music again...

'I got one this small.'

"So I said 'Hey, not everybody likes jokes about shark-fin soup.' And? Oh, he apologized right away. Good! That was super-insensitive. No kidding! That's exactly what I said before I ate him."