Offering Plate Observer Pillows

'Nobody's leaving till I get the offering plate back!'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

"Are we there yet?"

Olly really didn't know his arse from his elbow.

"You may enjoy swimming with the dolphins, Howard, but do they enjoy swimming with you?"

'You've got to help my son, Doctor — he's joined a cult that crawls up on beaches!'

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

"How do you feel about working a four-day week?"

Why all mothers deserve a special day.

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

Fish tank filled with sardines.

Evolution into a pair of sandals.

Astronaut Selfie.

Fish Feeding Frenzy

"Next year, I'm pleasuring myself."

"Oh, for crying out loud, Lou... just go in the water!"

Thru The Eyes Of A Lifeguard.

"Well, it is a good property. The price is low because it is harder to negotiate due to its S-bend configuration."

'What day is trash pickup around here?'

"We used to be cooler."

'Now class...' says teacher looking at fish while the children are all staring at a mermaid in the next tank.

Fisherman's catch getting it's revenge

'Oooh! My cousin got a 5 star review! What's it say?'

'I got one this small.'

"There goes that creepy music again...