Offering Plate Observer Gifts

'Nobody's leaving till I get the offering plate back!'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

"Are we there yet?"

Olly really didn't know his arse from his elbow.

"You may enjoy swimming with the dolphins, Howard, but do they enjoy swimming with you?"

'You've got to help my son, Doctor — he's joined a cult that crawls up on beaches!'

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

'Your secondhand smoke is giving the hermit crab a hacking cough!'

"How do you feel about working a four-day week?"

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

Why all mothers deserve a special day.

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

Fish tank filled with sardines.

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

Evolution into a pair of sandals.

"Next year, I'm pleasuring myself."

Thru The Eyes Of A Lifeguard.

Astronaut Selfie.

Fish Feeding Frenzy

"Well, it is a good property. The price is low because it is harder to negotiate due to its S-bend configuration."

"Oh, for crying out loud, Lou... just go in the water!"

"We used to be cooler."

Fisherman's catch getting it's revenge

'Now class...' says teacher looking at fish while the children are all staring at a mermaid in the next tank.

'What day is trash pickup around here?'

"There goes that creepy music again...

'Oooh! My cousin got a 5 star review! What's it say?'

'I got one this small.'