Outsourcing Guru Gifts

'You wiseaces who said, this factory would move to China are wrong! It's moving to India!'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Here and There Trays

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

When Engineers Crack.

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

Office worker pushing a pile of papers on trolley.

Manufacturing will take place in China...So what role does Europe have?...you borrow money to be the customer

Counting part time employees is the new math.

Why do you need so many computers?

Your computer has every alert, alarm and reminder possible...enough with the sticky notes!!!

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

"Much ado list"

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

Florist. A vase for everything and everything in its vase.

'At least I never have to straighten it out.'

'I'm still employed, but to save on utility costs, they offshored me.'

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

"It looks like we're reorganizing again."

"Procurement and their stakeholder journey down the procurement pathway... Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

In and In Too Deep Desk Organizers.

"Who's the idiot who filed Phil under F?"

Oh no ... Outsourcing

"I'm making a list of everything we have to do before we go away so we can freak out in some kind of order."

No employee is indispensable, but Doreen came pretty close.

Never ending to do list