Outsourcing Expert Gifts

Counting part time employees is the new math.

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

Manufacturing will take place in China...So what role does Europe have?...you borrow money to be the customer

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

Pull the udder one

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

'I'm still employed, but to save on utility costs, they offshored me.'

'You wiseaces who said, this factory would move to China are wrong! It's moving to India!'

Oh no ... Outsourcing

Janet always was ahead of the curve...she outsourced herself.

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

Export

"OK, I think we're pretty much back to square one. You can stop now."

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

List making as therapy.

'Sir, we've drilled so deep this time that we've reached Arab oil.'

'As you know, this is a Right-To-Work-Cheap-OR-we-send-your-job-to-Asia-state...'

My husband is a world expert, but unfortunately it's only on maganese bronze.

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go...we've just sourced somebody in Mumbai who's 34% better at being you for 29% less!'

"I'm here to thank you. The suffering index is much higher since you outsourced your customer service and tech support overseas."

'All the leading economic indicators,have been outsourced to india.'

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

"I thought you were the one who sent jobs overseas."

'I'm not calling you in India for technical support. I'm calling to offer you a job.'

'I'm afarid your son has all the classic elements of geekism,minus the technical expertise.'

'If a job's worth doing, the Japanese have probably already doing it..'

"We managed to outsource our strategic development team to a company in Beijing that will say 'yes sir no sir' for 25% less."

"We're considering outsourcing your job. Could you explain to this guy in Guatemala whatever it is you do around here?"

A Vet? I had you picked in advertising.

'Do you realize this is the third time we've packed up and moved to Canada?'

'We no longer handle the contracting out part. We contract that out.'

'We believe in putting people before profits. We put people in China to leave more profits here.'

Even Santa outsources

"I used to do it all myself, but now I have my lawyers handle it."