Outsourcing Specialist Gifts

'I'm still employed, but to save on utility costs, they offshored me.'

"We're considering outsourcing your job. Could you explain to this guy in Guatemala whatever it is you do around here?"

'Chicken soup for the outsourced soul.'

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

'And there's another one complaining about jobs going to India.'

'After upgrading my position, they downsized me from it and outsourced it offshore.'

'If a job's worth doing, the Japanese have probably already doing it..'

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

'We no longer handle the contracting out part. We contract that out.'

"We no longer send our jobs to Mexico. I found out they take siestas there!"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

Manufacturing will take place in China...So what role does Europe have?...you borrow money to be the customer

Counting part time employees is the new math.

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

Oh no ... Outsourcing

'You wiseaces who said, this factory would move to China are wrong! It's moving to India!'

Medical Examinations.

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

Janet always was ahead of the curve...she outsourced herself.

"Sign our updated non-compete agreement. It now includes nasty comments on social media."

Don't forget to read the small print.

A house being demolished in order to make way for a road widening scheme, with the occupants being evicted.

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

"Norman doesn't like any loose ends in his contracts, he likes everything tied up tight...it can be a problem..."

Proctologists' Office Party Games

'The bad news is you have a disease that only a highly-paid specialist can pronounce.'

Trust Your Doctor

A proctologist by trade, Bob liked to spend his weekends out in nature.

'As you know, this is a Right-To-Work-Cheap-OR-we-send-your-job-to-Asia-state...'

'I was hoping you could help me with an implant.'

'Of course, simple mistakes can be done by anybody, but to really mess up things, you need a specialist: me, the IT consultant!'