Outdoor Washer Gifts

Mahout and his elephant on wash day.

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"I don't do windows."

Sunbathing in the park

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

Psychiatry in the Park

"Shhh! I'm hiding from Mistress who wants to go on a walk! It's cold and raining outside: no way I'm wearing that stupid coat again!"

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

A man fly fishing forms a fish with his line.

'Typical it's cloudy all week, the the weekend arrives and it's too sunny to do any gardening.'

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

'Best to keep downwind.'

"You can migrate without me - I'm staying here this year."

Man sleeps beside 'do not disturb' sign as an alligator sneaks up on him.

Man gets round hosepipe ban by showering in the garden

"How?"

"We're going to need a bigger rake."

Elephant cleans a car.

A tree with leaves; a rake standing upright in a pile of leaves.

"I'm beginning to believe that this is just busy work."

Bazzini & Sons Lawn Service: 'We don't cut corners'.

Custer's last tan.

An occassional clean out should prevent unpleasant smells.

A Dog In A Train Carriage.

'Ken's back was bent at a rakish angle'

"Isn't summer great? We have all day to do whatever we want!"

'I think he wants to go walkies!'

"Yo... come on... you can at least turn your head."

A Gardener's Calendar: January - This is the most convenient time to work out your plans for the year.