Outdoor Washer Gifts

Mahout and his elephant on wash day.

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"I don't do windows."

Sunbathing in the park

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

What are we doing today? Installing raised beds. Then we'll plant them for a couple who want organic vegetables. Brilliant, Dad. Tree's Tree Nursery. You take the hard work out of gardening. Right. And give it to me! Right again!

'Typical it's cloudy all week, the the weekend arrives and it's too sunny to do any gardening.'

Psychiatry in the Park

"Shhh! I'm hiding from Mistress who wants to go on a walk! It's cold and raining outside: no way I'm wearing that stupid coat again!"

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

A man fly fishing forms a fish with his line.

"You can migrate without me - I'm staying here this year."

'Best to keep downwind.'

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

Man sleeps beside 'do not disturb' sign as an alligator sneaks up on him.

"We're going to need a bigger rake."

"How?"

Man gets round hosepipe ban by showering in the garden

Elephant cleans a car.

A tree with leaves; a rake standing upright in a pile of leaves.

"I'm beginning to believe that this is just busy work."

Danny reminds his dad that he had forgotten to pay him for raking the yard.

Bazzini & Sons Lawn Service: 'We don't cut corners'.

Custer's last tan.

Bird poo decals.

Our occupations? I am a student of The Contemporary Scene and my friend, here is an observer of The Passing Parade.

An occassional clean out should prevent unpleasant smells.

A Dog In A Train Carriage.

'Ken's back was bent at a rakish angle'

"Isn't summer great? We have all day to do whatever we want!"

'I think he wants to go walkies!'

A Gardener's Calendar: January - This is the most convenient time to work out your plans for the year.