Outdoor Maintenance Pro Gifts

'It's easy to start, but it takes a big jerk to do it.'

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

Relaxing in the Sun

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Building a Shelter

"Since global warming the Abominable Snowman is much less frightening than he used to be."

"I'll have to put you on hold. I have a bite on the other line."

"Must get a longer cable."

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"The pH level seems a little off."

The Gardener's Calendar: Get Your Mower Out of The Shed.

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

Leaf blowers at dawn.

"We're going to need a bigger rake."

"Meow...."

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

"I'm paid by the hour. Why do you ask?"

A tree with leaves; a rake standing upright in a pile of leaves.

'Hey, Mom, you have a farmer's tan.'

Does it Rain at Camp?

"That's one hole filled, only about three or four more to go."

"I can't go on. All the weeding, mowing, digging, pesticides, and gopher holes really hurts you know. It's just not worth it anymore."

Mower Repair

A plunger in an outhouse

"It doesn't mean you, Hickford!"

Orienteering 101

Scout Stuff.

'Oh, I'm not looking for Gold, I'm checking for bear-traps...'