Outdoor Maintenance Pro Gifts

'It's easy to start, but it takes a big jerk to do it.'

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Relaxing in the Sun

"Since global warming the Abominable Snowman is much less frightening than he used to be."

Building a Shelter

"I'll have to put you on hold. I have a bite on the other line."

What are we doing today? Installing raised beds. Then we'll plant them for a couple who want organic vegetables. Brilliant, Dad. Tree's Tree Nursery. You take the hard work out of gardening. Right. And give it to me! Right again!

"Must get a longer cable."

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

The Gardener's Calendar: Get Your Mower Out of The Shed.

"The pH level seems a little off."

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"Meow...."

Leaf blowers at dawn.

"We're going to need a bigger rake."

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

We built your beds, planted, mulched and set up your watering system. Nice work! Here's your check. Thanks! I love gardening. Me, too!

"I'm paid by the hour. Why do you ask?"

A plunger in an outhouse

Does it Rain at Camp?

Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm off work. Let's catch some rays! You already have a great tan from your job! You don't need to go sunbathing. Oh, yes I do!

"That's one hole filled, only about three or four more to go."

"I can't go on. All the weeding, mowing, digging, pesticides, and gopher holes really hurts you know. It's just not worth it anymore."

"It doesn't mean you, Hickford!"

A tree with leaves; a rake standing upright in a pile of leaves.

'Hey, Mom, you have a farmer's tan.'

Mower Repair

Danny reminds his dad that he had forgotten to pay him for raking the yard.

Orienteering 101

Scout Stuff.