Outdoor Lighting Gifts

Pear Lights

'We had a strand running down the middle of the front steps and some idiot walked on 'em.'

'Joe said he had some special bulbs.'

'Yeah...very nice but I still think you're spoiling him.'

Glastonbury. After.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

Painting clouds

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

How about going easy on the carbs

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

'Tut! Men and their sheds, eh?'

"Garden variety allergies."

Turtle Trailer Court

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

Problem Solving

"Not to mention the park view."

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

'The TZ90C with triple boosted propane burners and a titanium mesh grill with carbon fibre casings is the only way to guarantee that genuine back to nature outdoor flavour.'

'Don finally figured out a way to keep the squirrels from getting at the bird feeder.'

Beginning Yarder.

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

"It's a cookout-act stupid!"